My Everything by Daria M. Paus

Author:Daria M. Paus [M. Paus, Daria]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Daria M Paus
Published: 2023-09-01T16:00:00+00:00

It took too long for my head to clear, and the previous day started to come back. I groaned as I realized I wasn’t drunk—but drugged. And I did this to myself. Johnny warned me, and he should fucking know. It was his pills.

“Help me up,” I mumbled, secretly hoping he hadn’t heard me, but also needing to move my body. Asking for help wasn’t only against everything I believed, it was also fucking humiliating. But the last thing I wanted was a rerun of the previous attempt at self-harm.

“Nice to have you back.” Johnny grinned, moving to support me as I struggled to sit. The fucking shoulder still hurt, and even though the frustration was hard to fight, I knew I shouldn’t have expected anything else. It wasn’t going to go away that fast. I had to face it, no matter how much I hated the idea of being fucking impaired. I couldn’t even take a shower for fuck’s sake.

Johnny stepped aside, revealing Kaylie staring back at me. My eyes met hers, and the world stopped. All the things I tried not to feel slammed back into me with a force that nearly knocked my breath from my lungs.

“I left you there,” I whispered at last. “How are you…” I looked between her and Johnny. What did I miss?

“She called me, I had no choice but to help her.”

I stared at him, torn between being thankful and pissed. If he only knew what he did to me. How seeing her standing there killed me. But also filed me with a deep longing to hold her, to bury myself in her and forget about the pain.

“I got away, it’s a long story.” Kaylie smiled a small, uncertain smile. “I had nowhere else to go. I remember having Johnny’s number, and I—He helped me.” She inched closer to the bed, carefully sitting at the edge but kept her gaze looked on her hands clasped in her lap. “Are you angry?”

I couldn’t reply. Even if I found my voice, what could I say? No, I wasn’t fucking angry. I was… what? The warmth inside from simply being near her made me want to scream. I wasn’t fucking angry, I was… I couldn’t think it. Not now. Not with her. Not ever.

“Marc?” Her voice was small, so was her hand as it came to rest on my thigh. I felt her eyes on me, searching for answers I couldn’t give her. I couldn’t even look at her and not die a little inside.

The things I said to her while trapped in that cell. The things I needed from her. How I let her touch me, love me… I still wanted it, and more. I fucking craved it. But the weak sense of self-preservation I had left kept me from giving in.

“Hey,” she whispered. “Look at me.”

If I did, if I really looked, I’d be a goner. “You need to go,” I said instead. “Just go.”

A soft gasp escaped her lips. “What? No.” Her

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